It's another Friday Faves. Ted Lasso is a feel good show, Perry Mason is a killer detective show, it's almost porter season but you can also grill some pineapple.
Read MoreTravelled to Williamstown this past weekend. Played a great golf course, hiked Mt. Greylock, visited the Clark museum, ate some good food, and drank a couple new beers! Pretty solid week!
Read MoreAnother week in the books, more TV, reading, eating, and drinking. Last Chance U is back and eyeopening, The Daily has a solid two episode series this week on “Cancel Culture”, and yes, I played more golf this week.
Read MoreEveryone should get together and eat too much pizza from multiple restaurants. The transfusion is a delightful 19th hole cocktail, I suggest a new podcast and a new TV show to watch, both some some racial tension mixed in (why not, right?)
Read MoreI enjoyed Shy Bird's chicken, Taylor Swift's album "folklore", High West Campfire bourbon, the NBA's return. I am also looking forward to the FA Cup final!
Read MoreThe NBA is coming! The NBA is coming! Matisse Thybulle documents his experience in the bubble with the Philadelphia 76ers and some journalists are writing and talking about their entrance into the Disney bubble. I also enjoyed grilled peaches this week and Max Homa's podcast. Night Shift's Shimmer is a delicious summer beer, too.
Read MoreTeachers have had a tough go of it since March, and now that we're starting to consider how to reopen schools, the teacher's value, as a person outside of the classroom, seems to be getting lost in the sauce. School opening only works if teachers are protected. They have lives beyond school and their own families to worry about, too.
Read MoreAnother week in the books. I played some golf, enjoyed short rib grilled cheese and lemonade, finished a book, and listened to some new disco music. I also wrote a mini-mailbag.
Read MoreA mailbag that answers the important questions about Zion Williamson's NBA Bubble invite, summer as a teacher and non-teacher, and the best job interview question I've ever been asked.
Read MoreThis Tuesday was our third wedding anniversary. Tiff and I were married on Friday July 7, 2017. Every wedding has its hitches; ours was harmless (as most are) and funny (in hindsight).
The wedding took place at a church in Charlestown. I prepped at our condo with my buddies, a five minute walk to the church. Tiff, her bridesmaids, my sister, and my mom were at the Liberty Hotel on the edge of Beacon Hill. Probably a ten minute drive to the church. Tiff called two Ubers to drive her and her bridesmaids to the church. My mom and sister rode in the second car. Unfortunately, the driver in my mom’s car plugged in the wrong St. Mary’s Church and hopped on the Mass Pike heading west, on a Friday, in July, Pre-pandemic.
Our wedding was supposed to start at 4:00PM. This was after the priest asked another couple (who was more proactive than us) to move their wedding in the smaller chapel below the church to 5:30PM. This allowed for us to use the 4:00 window (because… we booked the reception venue BEFORE the church…whoops…).
Okay, back to the Uber adventure. My sister knows Boston, but not well enough to catch the Uber driver before the perilous turn down the Mass Pike towards Seattle. My mom doesn’t venture 10 miles from home behind the wheel, her driving experience is like those old colonization video games when area that has been explored yet is black until you push your character into the void. There wasn’t much hope of fixing the problem before it manifested into a panic.
So now, everyone is filling the church, it’s getting close to 4:00, and there’s no sign of my mom and sister. Not ideal. My sister is doing a reading at our wedding and my mom is MY MOM! While all this is going down, I’m not hanging in the back sipping from a flask of delicious bourbon. Instead, the priest thought it would be a swell idea for the two of us to wait in the wings to ensure I don’t see Tiff when she arrives at the church.
So, while I’m sitting awkwardly with the priest, surrounded by all his priestly things, my brother pops his head in to let us know that mom and Careena are heading back to Boston from Anchorage, Alaska and it might be a while. Remember it’s a Friday in July and my mom and sister are trapped in a tunnel underneath Boston. On a Friday, in Boston. On a Friday. In July.
My discussion with the priest had reached the point where the awkward silences were broken by commentary on my watch and my socks. It was now after 4:00, and the concern was we might have to start the wedding without my mom and sister. The 5:30 wedding in the chapel began looming large because 4:30 was the lasest we could start..
The wonderful singer, who was filling the church with “Ave Maria” for the 45th time moved onto the 46th time when my brother peeked in on the priest and me again to let us know that they were getting close, but the rain was making the trip tricky.
Again. A Friday. In Boston. In July. In the freaking rain.
At 4:20 the singer stopped suddenly and the organist blared the first notes of our processional. The priest jumped up and told me to follow him (and keep my hands out of my pockets. But how am I supposed to hide my chewed up finger nails???).
According to everyone that saw it, my mom stepped out of the car, walked into the church, gathered herself, and marched down the aisle like a champ. Yes, she might have aged 2-3 years during her cross-country road trip, but she was steely-eyed and determined to not allow it to effect the rest of the wedding.
And it didn’t.
There is nothing more humbling than moments in our lives when we are faced with great, swelling emotions in front of the closest people we know. Sometimes those moments are planned and other times they are spontaneous. The moment from our wedding that stands out to me are seeing those doors swing open and getting my first glimpse of Tiff as she walked down the aisle (20 minutes after the planned time…). The church is build above the street, so guests walk up into the building and then up a flight of stairs into the main section of the church. The massive doors swing open and Tiff literally walked up the steps, so the reveal was this crazy moment when I only just the top of her head and then she slowly appeared. It was similar to how we met, when she wandered up the steps in into my apartment after she replied to my add for a roommate on Craigslist.
Three years later, during a pandemic, those moments of stepping back and just taking it all in have evaporated. Currently, those moments that do exist are filled with a tinge of fear, faces covered in masks and a strange, unknown future ahead of us.
But when I think back to that wedding I am so grateful for those moments Tiff and I captured over the course of the night, watching everyone around us dance, eat, and sing. The people we love meeting each other on a beautiful July Friday night after the rains cleared out.
Here’s to many more wonderful memories for all of us. And I hope we all manage to carve out some positive moments in the next six months of 2020.
Dating Around - This show is delightful. It is glossy Netflix at it’s best, if you ask me. Yes, it’s a dating show, but different than any other dating show. Each episode shows one person on five different dates. However, each date is at the same restaurant, which allows for really cool transitions from one date to the next. There are no confessionals from the participants, you’re just watching the five dates happen as they’re woven together. At the end of the five dates, one person is picked for a second date, which we see the beginning of as the show ends. The other fabulous part of this show is the various ages and orientations of the participants. This isn’t all gorgeous millennials, and my favorite episode from the first season was an old New Yorker in his 60s looking for a little twilight love.
I’m Going Down (Bruce Springsteen cover) - Every now and then this song pops up in my life, and it always grabs my attention. The original is an exceptional song, and Vampire Weekend does a fabulous cover.
West Cork - On our 12 hour drive home from Ohio on Sunday, this Amazon podcast pretty much got us through New York and Massachusetts. The 14 episodes cover a fascinating unsolved murder in the far reaches of Ireland in rugged West Cork. The prime suspect is an egomaniac and the twists and turns of small town Ireland, poor policing, and a lack of resources leads the French government to get involved because the murdered woman, Sophie Toscan du Plantier, was a well-known French woman who loved visiting her house in West Cork. It’s a free download on Amazon here.
Zucchini Fritters - On Tuesday night, we celebrated our third wedding anniversary with a dinner at Alcove in Boston. It’s a walkable distance from our condo, close to the TDGarden, and they have an excellent outdoor space to eat. It’s not jammed on a sidewalk; instead, they have a big space just outside their doors. The food was delicious and the standout was the zucchini fritters with a sesame dipping sauce. To Alcove’s credit, the portion was solid, too. Big chunks of zucchini, I’m willing to bet the we ate nearly an entire zucchini between the two of us.
Disco Dancer - In Springfield, Ohio there’s a brewery called Mother Stewart’s (the landing page will give you the “itchies” in this day and age…). We’ve been trying to get to the brewery for years, but every time we’re in Ohio around the holidays it’s closed. The building and space is very cool and perfect for CoVid-times; we had some beers and sat outside. The beauty of driving to and from Ohio is the freedom to bring stuff home, so we brought some Disco Dancer back with us. It’s a delicious IPA, and I was pleasantly surprised. It’s got a hint of sweetness to it, which I am finding I like in beers (Bud Light, I’m looking at you). A good summer IPA.
A Little Rain - This was a wonderful beer to sip on while sitting out on Alcove’s patio for dinner on Tuesday night. It comes from a brewery called Small Change, and their story is really interesting. It’s a husband and wife team that doesn’t actually have a brewery and borrows space from other brewers. I am by no means a hop expert, but I’ve found that mosaic hops are in many of my favorite beers. A Little Rain is an American Pale Ale that comes in a cool can. It has a fruity/citrus taste and the low alcohol percentage makes this a must drink. If you come across it, buy it and spread the word.
The Imperfect Game - We’ve spend nearly 7 months researching ten small English soccer clubs. Our most recent episode closes up this little series. Both and I select our all time Starting XI using only players that have suited up for the ten teams. Spotify. iTunes.
On Sunday afternoon we had an adult version of a pizza party. We picked three pizza joints in Charlestown and ordered one pepperoni pizza from each and did a little taste test, ranking them for their crust, sauce, toppings, and appearance. Each category had 5 points, so the perfect pizza would earn 20 points.
We are planning on doing the same for the North End and a couple other regions in Boston and actually trying to come up with the best pizza around.
Read MoreIt’s a scorcher in Boston, so cool down with some fancy iced tea (vodka optional). I also enjoyed “Little Women” this weekend, an article about meatball sandwiches, grilled scallops, and found a new podcast to listen to hosted by two very smart people.
Read MoreThere was a time, just a few weeks ago, when sports returning would offer everyone a much needed respite from the world we were all inhabiting. The pandemic’s strange-hold on our country, and the world, would be loosened by the return of sports. The light at the end of this tunnel would feel just a tad brighter. The empty seats and piped-in crowd noise would feel strange and uncomfortable, but in the end, it would be a step in the right direction. A step towards normalcy or the new-normal or whatever else we want to call it.
Then George Floyd was killed and 2020 shifted on its axis again.
The last few weeks have been historic, but gone are the hoped for images of George Bush throwing out the first pitch following 9/11. Many were wondering what enduring sports moment would exist following the coronavirus. Suddenly, the protests have brought about a schism in our country again: anti-racist vs. racist. It shouldn’t be a schism, but it is, which sucks. It’s a schism so deep that the anticipation of sports healing our wounds has been eradicated. This wound might be too deep to heal with a basketball game. That sounds trite, but a month ago we thought sports would be the distraction that we all need.
Now the discussion is should sports be a distraction at all in this pivotal time in our history.
The NBA, which seemed primed for a late July re-start in an Orlando bubble, is now at odds with itself. Players like LA Laker Dwight Howard and Brooklyn Net Kyrie Irving are pumping the brakes and wondering aloud what the optics might look like if they return to play amidst this social strife. Would it be more powerful for the players to pass up the opportunity to play out the season and defy the owners. Could this be the NBA’s chance to stamp itself as a THE socially aware league. Would the message from predominantly black players be loud and clear to their predominantly white ownership (read: nearly every single one)? Would the short term blowback (which would likely exist) be worth the possible long-term gains. Are the players voices amplified if they go out and play and use that platform to speak about racial injustice in this country?
Just like any large workforce, NBA players have various opinions and thoughts on returning to play. These questions are not taken lightly, nor should they be. It’s a big deal right now for any sort to return to action.
The fact that we’re not sure if our country can handle the mental load of watching live sports while also thinking critically about systemic racism might be the most concerning part of all of this. There has to be a world where sports can offer some form of distraction while also understanding the horrible systems we have in our country that hold hold black people in this country.
I have to wonder what might have happened if there was not coronavirus, but the still happened (I think the virus fueled a lot of the frustration we saw in the protests, but they still could have occurred). Would the NBA have played? There would have been four teams left in the playoff in late May. However, there are other times when the NBA was offered the same challenge. In 1968 when Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated, the NBA was in the Conference Finals. Players considered not playing, but they did. Bill Simmons covered this in the June 15 podcast. In the first 10 minutes he talks about Bill Russell and the Celtics decision to play the day following the assassination. Also, in 2014 Donald Sterlings’s girlfriend released tapes to TMZ of his racist rants. He was horrible and there were some people that thought the Clippers might actually sit out a playoff game against the Golden State Warriors. Ultimately, they played.
In this specific case, the story is a little different because the players have time to make the right choices. It’s not a matter of hours or even days. They have weeks, and the league is already open to players sitting out if they don’t want to enter the Orlando bubble for any reason.
Obviously, there are other moving parts to the NBA’s return. We’re in the middle of a pandemic and the players are leaving their families for six weeks before they can also enter the bubble. I wrote about the fact that these players are also people a few weeks ago, and I think it continues to ring true the closer we get to the restart of some of these leagues. And I think that’s okay.
Finally, a well-known issue in the country is our attention span. Who knows where Black Lives Matter stands at the end of the July. We’ll be three months away from an election, possibly wading through national conventions and presidential debates. It’s really possible that Black Lives Matter might be on the back burner, how powerful would it be if the NBA returned and utilized their influence with an organized, cohesive message around social injustice and racial discrimination. It might not be a distraction from the struggle, but instead a bullhorn exactly when the movement needs it.
This week's Friday Faves includes Donald Glover's Atlanta and also Fox's Labor of Love. I dipped into the way-back machine and listened to The Killer's Hot Fuss album and also thoroughly enjoyed Pork Noodles. Homemade Cold Brew is where it's at when coffee shops are closed (or scary) and everyone should listen to/read Stamped by Ibram X. Kendi.
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Just when we thought life couldn’t get any stranger, this week happened. Another one for the ages that will be seared in our memory for quite a while.
Instead of jumping into a typical Friday Faves, I thought, instead, I would share some of the books and movies that I have read and watched over the last few years that examine the experience of Black people in America. I was lucky enough to be a part of a diversity group at my old school that pointed me in the direction of a lot of this content. I know I need to read and watch more and have more conversations about race and prejudice. I hope some of these help you have those conversations.
13th - This is a documentary about the prison and criminal systems in the United States. The film dives into how America moved from abolishing slavery to creating a prison system that incarcerated Black and Brown people are staggering numbers. It’s an award winner that is very much worth watching.
The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness - This is the book version of 13th, so if you’re more of a reader, or find yourself wanting more to dig into after watching the 13th, this is a good place to start.
Evicted: Poverty and Profit in the American City - A book that covers eight families in Milwaukee trying to make rent every month.
Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates - In this book, Ta-Nehisi Coates writes a letter to his son. I read this in one sitting. Coates is incredibly insightful and the stories he tells about his childhood and growing up in Baltimore are haunting.
Barracoon: The Story of the Last "Black Cargo" by Nora Neale Hurston - I am about halfway through this book. Incredibly, Neale Hurston found a man named Cudjo Lewis in Alabama who was on the last slave boat the Clotilda to cross the Middle Passage. It’s now 1931, he’s 86 years-old; he tells the story of his tribe, his capture, his crossing, and his slavery
Washington Black by Esi Edugyan - A riveting tale that starts on a Barbados sugar cane plantation following 11 year-old George Washington Black. “Wash” ends up as an apprentice to Christopher Wilde, the brother of the plantation owner. Wilde is an eccentric fellow and naturalist and inventor and when a murder happens on the plantation, they need to escape in the middle of the night on Wilde’s “flying machine.” Adventure ensues, as Wash is always looking over his shoulder waiting for a bounty hunter to catch him whether he’s in the Artic, Europe, or Africa, the fear never leaves him.
Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie - A story about the immigrant experience in America. Ifemulu moves to the US from Nigeria by herself, expecting Obineze to join her, but he can’t when 9/11 makes it nearly impossible. The two lovers live separate lives and drift apart, Ifemulu in the US and Obineze living illegally in London. The writing is beautiful and the story is gripping.
Emmanuel Acho: The former football player drops some honesty in this excellent video.
Dear white people,
— Emmanuel Acho (@thEMANacho) June 2, 2020
For days you’ve asked me what you can do to help. I’ve finally found an answer.
Let your guard down and listen. pic.twitter.com/74SVv8XOqp
Killer Mike gives impassioned speech - This has circulated all over the internet and Killer Mike has been on multiple outlets this week to encourage people to “Plot, plan, strategize, organize, mobilize”
DeRay McKesson on Bill Simmons Podcast:
The opening here has Simmons apologize for a bad, tone-deaf podcast on Monday in light of what transpired over the weekend. The apology is followed by a great interview with DeRay McKesson, a Black activist, who has been working tirelessly to highlight police brutality and making impactful changes.
Higher Learning Podcast - I’m not a huge Rachel Lindsay fan, but this is a really good listen and I think Van Lathan is super-smart. They tackle Trump, Obama, Drew Brees, and even go into their boss (Bill Simmons) for his podcast that I reference at the top.
NYTimes cooking
On Monday afternoon I stood on the first tee for the first time this year and promptly topped my tee shot 50 yards in front of me. I tried again, re-teeing and knowing that my golf game is going to have some rust, but not enough to top another tee shot 50 yards in front of me, right? Wrong. As a topped my way down the first three holes of my opening round of 2020, I didn’t care much about the result of the round. It was an odd one to be sure, playing in a foursome with two strangers, who were friends of the organizer of the foursome.
Driving out of the city for only the second time all spring, it was one of those baby step moments that gave me a bit of hope. There are things we all miss doing, and I’m fortunate that some of my favorite things require wide open spaces, so they’re safer than other “out-of-home” hobbies. However, it also made me realize how far we need to go. The sensation of hopping out of the car and meeting a new person without a hand shake, and instead a wave from a safe distance, was awkward. Not being able to commune in the clubhouse or on the driving range before the round was weird. Killing the 15 minutes before the round around the corner from the first tee, unable to approach until it was completely clear felt strange.
While we’re slowly getting portions of our lives back, the experience is going to be so different and require patience and understanding and self-awareness. If this pandemic was a marathon, we’d be on mile 20. Half the race comes in the last six miles. Our bodies and minds are exhausted and screaming at us to just give in, quit, stop worrying. Instead, let’s keep moving forward and taking care of each other.
Home Before Dark: This Apple+ show is a small delight. Hinde Lisko is a 9 year-old amateur journalist whose family just moved back to her father’s childhood home in Washington state. It’s a far cry from Brooklyn where Hilde used to ride along with her journalist dad and help him investigate stories. When an old friend of Hilde’s dad ends up dead, Hilde thinks something suspicious is going on and starts to dig for the truth. The show isn’t GREAT, but it’s a solid, charming show that we keep sitting down to watch each evening. Hilde can be a bit too precocious at times, but it’s been a good one so far.
Tiger, Phil, Tom, and Peyton in The Match 2: This was a great afternoon of golf viewing. Tom Brady sucking at golf brought a lot of people joy. If we weren’t in a pandemic, Tom Brady splitting his pants on national TV after holing out from 150 yards would have exploded the internet. Here are my grades for the players, course, and programming.
Notes From Our Homes To Yours: This is a cool NYTimes interactive page where a bunch of reporters and editors and writers are keeping some sort of journal. There’s something in here for everyone, the formatting is cool, as many of them are written in Google Docs, so they’re living, breathing things. Here’s the link.
The Dream Team Tapes: Author and journalist Jack McCallum is The Dream Team expert. He wrote a book on the 1992 Olympians in 2013. He interviewed them all and kept the cassette tapes. This pod weaves in McCallum’s narration with the interviews from ten years ago. It offers solid insight into the making of The Dream Team and its personalities. The podcast made a bit of splash this week when the third episode had Michael Jordan saying he wouldn’t play on the Dream Team if Isiah Thomas was picked. Which makes MJ look like a liar in his very own documentary.
Sheet Pan Italian Sub dinner: Yep, another sub, just not meatball this week. This wasn’t quite an Italian sub , but more like an Italian sub bowl with a sidecar of bread. It was delicious. Here’s the NYTimes cooking recipe.
Homemade Shandy: The thermometer tipped the 80 degree mark this week. Crack open any lager, pour it in a glass, add some lemonade (3:1 beer to lemonade ratio?) and enjoy! Or just buy Leinenkugel shandy, but it isn’t the same.
The Match 2: I wrote about the Match 2 this weekend where Tom Brady embarrassed himself. Here it is.
The Imperfect Game Podcast: Southampton was this week’s club of choice. If you’re looking for insults based on having sex with fish, then this pod might be for you. Portsmouth and Southampton hate each other, and it’s glorious. I researched the clubs hero Matthew Le Tissier, who is a delight to watch gallop around the field and score amazing goals. iTunes link.
Another week in the books. Erik Larson's new book, The Splendid and the Vile is exceptional. So was a meatball sub, a painkiller, a skillet cookie. Carly Rae Jepsen has a new B-side album out, it's wonderful, so was Rory McIlroy's interview on the McKellar podcast.
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Sketching - I have never been much of a drawer. I doodle on my notes or while I’m on the phone or in a meeting, but last week I came across a NYTimes article about sketching and the positive impacts it can have on our mindset, even if you just take 10 minutes a day. So I did, I took 10 minutes a day, put a simple object in from of me (coffer mug, wine bottle, a vase), and just tried to sketch it. I watched a couple youtube videos and bought some pencils and a sketchpad.
The thing I’ve found the hardest about sketching is the imperfection of it all. Nothing comes out on the paper as I picture it in my head. However, this, I think, is also the value of the exercise. I have a limited ability and I’m trying to acquire a new skill on my own, and I’m doing it for no one else but myself. The better sketches happen when I stop caring, or I don’t get tied up in making it look “perfect” or “realistic.” It’s an activity I look forward to each day, and something I think about when I’m not sketching. After just a week, I am looking at objects differently: the light, the shape, my perspective. At times, I’m even ranking items: I could draw that… oh, man, I could not draw that, yet.
Like any new hobby or activity, improvement will come. With a visual activity, I’ll see the improvement from page to page, sketch to sketch. When everything around us feels stuck, it’s a nice feeling to flip through a week’s of sketches and see the passing of time and some slight improvement.
TaylorMade COVID Relief Golf Match - On Sunday, Rory McIlroy, Rickie Fowler, Matthew Wolff, and Dustin Johnson will play a 2-on-2 skins game at Seminole Golf Course. Live sports are slowly making their way back. The golf course might be the star of the show though. Seminole is a golf geek’s architectural wet dream and is rarely, if ever, shown on TV and has never hosted a professional only tournament. Tune in on NBC at 2PM on Sunday… here’s the low down via GolfDigest.
Jaylen Brown dancing - This is the new, “Heading into the weekend like…” video. I’ll be honest, I hate on LeBron James for his stupid-ass videos. I know that if LeBron did this, I’d roll my eyes. You know why LeBron wouldn’t do this? Because he’s too far from the camera… you can barely tell this is Jaylen Brown.
Also, how about his hype-man in the background? Just stupendous. I choose to believe this was filmed on the side of 95 North in Wellesley.
Enjoy…
Important Jaylen Brown update: pic.twitter.com/gHLRWTNFF4
— Chris Grenham (@chrisgrenham) May 14, 2020
Gossip in the Grain - Streaming music has certainly altered my listening habits. There’s a saying in the NFL, “If you have two quarterbacks, you have no quarterbacks.” I’d say, “If you have access to all the music, you have access to no music.” I end up in these closed loops because of the algorithm. Ray LaMontagne’s newest single, We’ll Make it Through was brought to me by the robots behind Spotify. I hadn’t forgotten about LaMontagne, but I hadn’t listened to him in a while. I popped on “Gossip in the Grain” one evening this week, it was one of the rainy evenings, the type of evening you could picture LaMontange writing a new song.
Wind of Change Podcast- Could a rock ballad have possibly ended the Cold War? This podcast investigates the likelihood that the CIA wrote the hit song “Wind of Change” by German rock group the Scorpions in 1990 to become the “soundtrack to the revolution.”
A History of the World in 6 Glasses - I finished this book last night, and it was a great, quick read. It discusses the impact of beer, wine, rum (and other distilled drinks), coffee, tea, and Coca-Cola throughout history. The book doesn’t bounce around from era to era, it follows time linearly, each drink gaining influence at different times in history. The section on the Opium War blew my mind.
The Making of Marcus Rashford - The young Manchester United star has been making an effort to feed the less fortunate in Manchester. A solid story about kindness, empathy, and perseverance. NYTimes.com.
The Outer Banks is the Show of the Year….- I wish I had written this piece. Really funny, but also full of hard truths about a really great, fun TV show. It won’t win awards, but it might win this quarantine. -SFGate
Summer Cheeseburgers - It was 70 degrees in Boston on Thursday. It was delightful, so we decided to fire up the grill and make some cheeseburgers. Now don’t be fooled, these were quarantine burgers to the max, frozen and thin (I went double patty…). Nothing special, some pickles and ketchup on the top. No fries. No frills. But cracking a beer, firing up the grill, and sitting out on the deck as the sun set on the end of another pandemic day was a calming slice of normal.
Substance by Bissell Brothers - Tiff loves Bissell’s Lux beer. In search of an escape one day, she decided to drive up to Portland and pick up some Bissell Brothers beer. She also grabbed their flagship beer called Substance. It’s a delicious IPA that isn’t super heavy or overwhelmingly bitter or hoppy. I look forward to the day we can go back to Portland, eat great food, and have a couple beers in Bissell’s tasting room.
NYTimes Cooking.
I used to stand in the school hallways and ask students to take off their hooded sweatshirts because they were out of dress code. I used to hold kids in detention for multiple dress code infractions. Middle schoolers would often have an answer for why they were wearing their hoodie: they were heading outside or they were just coming back inside (hoodies were allowed outside) or the building was too cold (and hoodies are the only thing a teenager can wear to stay warm…). Some would just say the rule was unfair and they should be allowed to wear hoodies (if I could have worn a hoodie every day to work, I would have, too.).
It was exhausting and I hated it. All teachers hate fighting kids on dress code. It’s like fighting the tide while playing whack-a-mole, but without tickets to collect for a prize at the end.
This hoodie issue is now haunting nearly everyone in our country, except the hoodie is now a mask. I’ve heard the refrain, “Just put on a mask! We’re not asking that much!” Just like teachers used to say, “Just take off your hoodie, it’s so easy!”
Obviously, there is a stark difference between hoodies and masks because masks are made to protect people and we’re in the middle of a pandemic. However the attitude about dress code in middle school feels similar to the mask issue in public. Hoodies are comfortable and it the dress code and stupid and it doesn’t matter, teenagers complained. Masks are a nuisance and they don’t really do anything, idiots say.
I guess that means, deep down, we’re all middle schoolers even after we’ve grown up. Many of us seek comfort (rules and/or public safety be damned), while others follow every rule. Then there are those in the middle with a mask shoved in their pocket, waiting to see what everyone out in public is doing before making a decision.
Killing Eve: I realize I’m late to the game with this one. But it’s on Hulu, so Tiff and I decided to give it a whirl. While each episode has a moment where we’re watching the TV through sweaty, nervous fingers, clamped over our eyes, it’s an excellent show. The premise is that Sandra Oh, playing Eve, is an American who works as a British spy. She’s tracking a ruthless assassin throughout Europe, but the assassin is also tracking her. The show harkens back to old school spy shows: the soundtrack, visuals, and hopping around from different ancient European cities. It’s excellent. It’s on Hulu. Watch it.
Jack Kornfield : I’ve listened to a bunch of interviews with Kornfield recently because he possesses an incredible ability to state things plainly and beautifully. His entire website is full of wonderful texts about mindfulness, and he’s a great listen/read if you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed during this pandemic. Here’s a link to a podcast he does with Sam Harris of Ten Percent Happier.
My Season WIth Verona: This was a wonderful book. Tim Parks spent one season following his favorite football team, Verona, throughout Italy. He travels to every away game, in many different ways. Cars, trains, buses, planes (public and private). It’s a non-fiction book that reads like fiction. The characters are insanely passionate, angry, and loving. Park’s writing brings them all to life. The team’s rollercoaster season couldn’t have been a more perfect subject. Read the first chapter, depicting an overnight bus ride to Bari, and you’ll be hooked.
I found myself learning a lot about Italy’s culture; the schism between north and south is deep and intense. He doesn’t get bogged down in match report writing, but when he does offer blow by blow recaps, they’re riveting and impactful to the story. Even if you’re not a soccer fan, this is an excellent read.
Flattening the Truth by David Eggers: Eggers might be one of my favorite writers. This tongue in cheek piece is great and sad and scary and funny. - NYTimes.com
Spaghetti and Meatballs Make No Goddamn Sense Together: A solid, old-fashioned mailbag article by Drew Magary, a witty writer who made his name at Deadspin, and he’s a worthy Twitter follow. Sometimes I hate him and sometimes he makes me laugh. Here’s the link.
Tomato Alphabet Soup: Comfort foods have become more and more the name of the game. I made this soup using this NYTimes recipe. You’ll need a blender or immersion blender and about an hour of time, but I was very impressed with it. You could double the recipe and have dinner for a couple nights and maybe even a lunch.
On Sunday, Tiff and I zoomed with my brother and his girlfriend as a pre-game for ESPN’s The Last Dance. We thought it would be fun to each pick a cocktail and then teach each other how to make them on the call. A distance learning bartender class if you will.
We made a Chelsea Sidecar and a Mezcal Sour. I found the Chelsea sidecar in this amazing book we were given a few years ago called, quite simply, the Ultimate Bar Book. It’s small and looks classy as hell. We noticed it in bars over the years, so you know it’s good.
Chelsea Sidecar: Lemon twist, 2 ounces gin (we used Barr Hill), 3/4 ounce Cointreau, 1/2 ounce lemon juice. Rub the rim of the glass with the lemon. Toss in the liquid ingredients together with ice and shake, shake, shake! Strain into a glass and garnish with a lemon twist.
Mezcal Sour: This was my brother’s drink of choice. I cannot remember how to make it off the top of my head, it involved egg white, honey, mezcal, muddled basil, a “dry shake” and then a “wet shake” after adding the egg white. It was delicious.
Mezcalita: We never have Mezcal (or any tequila) in the house, so I did a little research and found this drink; it was perfect for a Cinco de Mayo dinner. It was delicious and easy to make, and the orange and lime juice will help fight off scurvy. After all, we’re basically all on our own little ships right now.
Four Questions Parents Should Be Asking About Their Child: I wrote a quick parenting/distance learning piece with four questions that parents should be asking themselves about their child as a learner. They’ll make them better parents when school returns to normal. Here is the link.
The Imperfect Game: After a week away from the mic, Both and I are back on the bike talking about Sheffield Wednesday’s heroes and villains. We learn a new British insult (what is a yob?) and discuss a striker that drank a bottle of champagne on New Years Day for breakfast, scored a goal and then hopped in net and didn’t allow a goal. iTunes and Spotify
Photo by Jeffrey Hamilton on Unsplash
There will be a time, at some point in the future, when parents will drop their kids off at the bus stop or on the curbside at school and breath a sigh of relief because distance learning is in the rear-view mirror.
There will also be a time when parents pick-up an unhappy child from school because things are just too hard — socially, academically, or both.
In other words, things will return to normal.
Unfortunately, for many parents right now, the tunnel is long and the light is dim. Across the Internet, the backlash to distance learning has crested. Parents are taking back their homes, openly saying that the work is too much, not just for their kids, but for the adults. Parents are trying to manage their child’s learning while also working for their livelihood as companies fire and furlough at alarming rates. The motivation to perform is high. The distractions and anxiety are higher.
While parents have their children at home, the learning doesn’t have to be one-sided. This is a rare opportunity for parents to observe their child and understand what kind of learner and school citizen he/she might be. Because at some point when things return to normal (and they will…) there will come a moment when you feel the urge to email a teacher about something: a grade, a test score, a social or behavioral issue. Stepping back now and observing your child might help inform how you go about engaging with your child about those issues before involving the teacher with an 11:45PM email.
If your child is old enough to have received report cards and written reports, take them out and read them over for 20-30 minutes. Take a look at what your child’s teachers have said about him/her over the years. You can read them without judgement right now, because they’re in the past, there are no grades to aim for or social engineering to concern yourself with. This is an anthropological dig into your child’s past student experiences.
Here are some valuable questions to ask yourself in the next few months while you’re at home with your children. These might help you as a parent when school is back in session.
Curiosity is the driving force behind any kind of learning, whether it’s Fortnite, World War II, Pokemon, biology, legos, etc… your child is going to show curiosity in some thing, or some things, during the quarantine. What is it that they like? What do they gravitate towards? Are they interested in puzzles? Solving problems? Music? Sports? Playing games? Cooking? Being active? Are they reading? What are they reading about? Watching Youtube? What are they watching?
Also, it is worth paying attention to what your child is asking for as far as activities and what they are missing. This might be a perfect time to take stock in what you’ve spent your time and money on and cut back when options become available again. If you’ve been spending hours in the car over the years driving to club sports practices and games and your child hasn’t picked up that ball or stick or asked to go to the park to play, maybe it’s time to reassess.
Distance learning might be the best case scenario for some students right now. The ease of waking up, checking an email, following a plan, hopping on a zoom call, and not having to see any classmates might be a utopian learning environment for some.
For others, the social aspect of school is what drives their academic interest. One friend told me her child loves school because she gets to see her friends everyday. She completes her work in order to impress them. So being at home with work to complete, away from friends, is stressful. The work is less enticing to complete at home. But if a parent understands this, it makes the distance learning easier and doesn't erode the parent-child relationship. You know where the stress is coming from. It also shines a light on what part of school matters. Have you asked your child what they miss most about school? It could be rather illuminating to have that discussion.
Pay attention to where your child stands on the social spectrum because they might be begging to FaceTime with a friend or text with a group. They might be hopping onto the Xbox to play a game with a bunch of friends. Or they might be completely content not seeing a their friends every day, if at all. This is doesn’t mean you need to judge your kids, or their friends and classmates, it’s just a worthwhile piece of information to store away.
It matters what types of social interactions your child is seeking because it most likely mimics their social experience at school.
Are you hounding your child to get started on his/her work? Is your child hounding you to help them? If something is hard, do they come running to you for help immediately? Do they try to do it themselves?
In a classroom, students all react to assignments differently. Some dig in, willing to try anything, even if it means making mistakes and trying again. Others are at the teacher’s side, always asking questions, trying to pry the answers from them without really thinking for themselves. Others will seek the help of kids around them, striking up a conversation and working through a problem.
The levels of independence obviously change with age, but paying attention to how much help they require is important, and you shouldn’t feel afraid to challenge them to give things a try on their own.
How is your child managing the day? Is the assigned work completed in a frenzy just before it’s due? Are assignments done on time? Does it often feel like there isn’t enough time in the day to complete assignments? Or is your child tearing through work and done by 10:30am?
Managing time is important, especially with long days stuck at home. Even as an adult, the sensation of having an entire day ahead with no real plan is daunting and suddenly it’s dinnertime and you’re left wondering where the day went.
Putting together a plan for the day can ease some of the tension. Some kids need to know what the day ahead will look like; however, others can go with the flow and bounce from activity to activity without a bother in the world. But if you watch how your child spends their time, how they plan things out, or ask you for help in preparing and learning, it will give you a good sense of what kind of student they are in the classroom. If you child is done with work that’s supposed to take a few hours in mere minutes, you can bet they’re doing the same thing at school.
Learning at school and distance learning are not created equal. It would be foolish to assume the work that would have been completed in the final three months of school is going to match what kids are learning at home from their parents. The varying dynamics of distance learning are challenging, there is no arguing that fact. While the stresses of this period are unlike anything many of us have ever endured, remember that a lot of our kids go to school with their own sets of worries and fears and stresses every single day. Worries like who they’re going to sit with at lunch or play with at recess can be be road blocks to learning and impact how children act and learn at school. The stresses might be different now, but kids feel tension going to school. It doesn’t make sense to tell yourself that your child is acting differently now because they’re feeling stressed out during the pandemic. Most kids, in one way or another, feel stress and anxiety every day. We all do. We’re human. Be careful no to write-off your child’s habits and behaviors as a “one-off” during this window of time.
The goals for parents while at home with their children should be to keep them feeling safe and secure and loved. Kids should also be learning from their parents how to navigate these challenging times. Kids are always watching and downloading the actions of adults in their lives. As parents, you should be watching, too. Download some new information about your child, see them through the eyes of their teachers. It will help you as a future parent in partnering with your child’s teachers because you have seen them as students, working through problems and lessons. You have more information at your disposal. So take advantage of the opportunity to watch and help your children as students.
