A List of Runners You See at a Road Race

This weekend my wife and I were in Portland, Maine running the Old Port Half Marathon. It’s a great race and a lot of fun. Portland in the summer is amazing, we ate delicious food (gonna be a lot of food on Friday Faves this week…) and ended up in this really great AirBnB with some friends.

Every time I run a race it seems like I see a lot of the same people, or types of people. Runners can be an odd bunch (I include myself in that generalization), so here are the types of people you might see at a road race (usually, these types get more extreme with the length of race.).

The Super Fast Runner

Not someone I see much of. Usually you can find them before the race at the starting line running up and down the course to get warmed up. They’re the only ones allowed to warm up this way, while the average runners are corralled behind them, shoulder to shoulder shaking out our legs and jumping up and down in an effort to avoid pulling a muscle in the first mile.

These runners are sinuous and often look like they might need a few extra bagels at the end of the run.

Short Shorts Runner

I have memories of my dad heading out for runs in very short shorts. You know the ones, they have a high cut on the sides, nearly up to the waistband. He was also a Super Fast Runner. There is a cross section of runners with short shorts that are also very fast; however, it isn’t a requirement (some might argue it should be).

The Political Runner

I was running next to a guy this weekend for the first seven miles or so who made me think of this category. He was the best at it I’d ever seen. He was thanking everyone along the route for coming out. I could some people tell were thrown off by his praise because they hadn’t come out for the race, it was clearly impeding their usual Saturday morning Portland stroll for coffee with their dog.

He even went as far as to joke around with one group who had giant heads printed of their friend and said, “That’s not my picture” as he ran by.

I must say, thanking people as I run a road race often does offer me a little boost. Maybe it’s the distraction, maybe it’s the fact that they cheer a little bit harder, I don’t know. But it does help.

The My Music is Good So Everyone Should Hear it Runner

We all know this person, they don’t run with headphones, so instead they strap their phone to their arm and just blast their playlist for everyone to hear. This is one of the types of people that is also just found on the streets of Boston, particularly on the T. A person walks onto the T with a backpack on and a blue tooth speaker blasting some tunes for everyone to enjoy.

I am not a huge fan of this experience in races or in public spaces.

The Old Former Super Fast Runner Who is Still Pretty Fast

This is one of my favorite types of runner to seek out. They are unassuming, but have run a million races in their life, and if they were 35 years younger they’d be up front warming up with the Super Fast Runners. They might dabble in short shorts and running tanks. They usually have wild hair and just radiate individuality. Their running form is sometimes awkward because, you know, they’re old and have logged many miles over the years. They still kick a lot of ass, though.

The I Arrived a Little Late Runner (Or The I Don’t Have Patience For a Crowded Start Runner)

This weekend might have had the most runners in this category. At about the 7 minute mile I had six or seven runners fly past me. They were smooth and fast and comfortable. They were most likely late to the race and trying to make up time. Sometimes I think these runners don’t want to be bothered with the corrals at the start of the race and the maneuvering for space that first mile or so. Instead, they wait for the crowds to thin out and start at their leisure.

The Cheerleading Runners

This is a cousin of the Political Runner. They will cheer on the other runners, especially toward the end of the race as people might slow up, start walking, and look hurt. “C’mon, you can do it" or “You Got This!” are common refrains.

The Sign Holder

There is a whole list of road race spectator types, too. But I wanted to just do this one because I think we need some better signs, and I wanted to share one great, original sign I saw this weekend.

First on the bad signs. We all know that a road race is the “Worst. Parade. Ever” and that “There’s Beer at the End” and that yes, we paid for this torture.

We need better signs. An older women, who I will venture is a grandmother, brought the heat on Saturday for her granddaughter named Ginny. This particular sign, which I saw a few times because this woman was on the move, was neon green with black font that read: “Run fast, Ginny! A Nice Looking Man is Ahead.” It was the perfect sign considering the old lady holding it. If Ginny’s friend make the same sign, it probably says, “Hot Guy ahead” or “Keep Chasing those cute butts” (Note: Am I tapped into how woman think or what?!).

This sign, while personal, also made me laugh each time I saw it. Which makes it the perfect sign. If I was more of a Political Runner I might have made a point to compliment her on it. But I was too busy trying to be a Super Fast Runner while avoiding the runner with his Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” blasting through his phone.